“He had to go through at least 20 names before he found someone who wasn’t taken or gay. They always have that ex or that former relationship in the background, whether it’s ‘Occupied’... But then I realised he would never invite me to his openings.
It is hard to imagine a future with a guy when you’re the one to foot the bill every time you go for a drink.” All you can eat But there are other reasons for not settling down in Berlin, where the panoply of available options extends to more than just creative ones. “Berlin is full of pretty girls – look at the streets of Neukölln, hot 25-year-olds everywhere.
Why set your heart on one when you can have an endless supply? “In Berlin, you surround yourself with ‘a family’ of friends and WG partners who will cover everyday emotional and practical needs.” Sex and romance come extra and are interchangeable and easily replaceable.
And meeting your parents is just too much of a drag. ” Silke, a tall, beautiful 38-year-old Berliner architect, says she decided to leave her infatuation for creative types behind. “For most of them, a relationship is too much work.
“You know, the cool guys, charming but no real job, no ambition really. Many men prefer to just rub one out before they go out, to take off the edge so they don’t do anything stupid like fall in love.” “It’s like a candy store, or better – a buffet,” says Alice, 36, a cheeky, smiling freelancer from Scotland who, although she says she could write volumes on her decade-long experience of dating in Berlin, still sleeps alone in her king-sized bed.
He describes his current love life as a series of “confusing affairs”.
Wrong time, wrong place Male or female, it might all come down to the fact that there’s no better place to live a comfortable and unencumbered single life well into your forties than Berlin. ” In addition, cheaper rents make the lone-wolf lifestyle infinitely easier in Berlin than in other European capitals.
“They might love you in their own way, but their notion of commitment is really fuzzy...
It might involve going for a three-month trip to South America – and you’re not invited.
Focus on available, straight men in that age group, and the pool of prospects shrinks dramatically. ” Anna, a 35-year-old freelance illustrator from Spain, can’t count her experiences with ‘taken’ guys. “She’s out of the picture, they haven’t talked in years, but her stuff is still in his flat.
“I asked a friend of mine if he had any friends in Berlin he could set me up with, so he scrolled through his phone contacts,” remembers Sarah, an American musician in her late twenties. “I had this one guy who still lived with his wife although they were separated – for the kids, he said. That’s the thing with guys here, especially Germans.
“Relationships are more about friends here,” she concludes. And NOT settling down with a woman makes them feel freer, younger or something...” Alice knows something about that: “I was in a six-month relationship with a German man in his forties. ” exclaims Silvia, who says she’s got a problem with all those ‘big boys’ still into playing with drugs, as if that were a girl’s biggest turn-on.